Bloody Crayons Review (2017): Not Just For Fan Girls

Bloody Crayons?

I went to see Bloody Crayons to make fun of it, since I was pretty sure that the movie would be awful like the majority of mainstream Filipino films. Also, the title was interesting. After watching the movie, I came to the conclusion that Bloody Crayons was a cut above other films I lumped it with, not because the movie was a masterpiece in any sense of the word, but because it never took itself too seriously and never attempted to be stray from what it marketed itself to be: Bloody Crayons is a horror comedy for the Pinoy mainstream. It’s a movie for the fangirls and fanboys of Janella Salvador, Elmo Magalona, Ronnie Alonte, Maris Racal, Sofia Andres, and Yves Flores.

The film revolves around a group of millennials, led by Janella Salvador and Elmo Magalona, shooting a horror film project. They head to an isolated island to shoot the film and once they get there, they establish base at an abandoned house owned by the family of Jane Oineza, a member of the group. Drama ensues when Jane finds out that her boyfriend Diego Loyzaga and friend Sofia Andres are seeing each other behind her back while Janella, aware of Jane’s psychological distress, is actively hiding it from Jane. After the group plays a game of Bloody Crayons – a variation of Truth or Dare in their universe – Sofia dies from poisoning. What happens next is a game of Whodunnit; the group spirals into conspiracy and accusations at the same time as a masked killer lurks around the abandoned house.

Pros and Cons

The movie doesn’t hide its blatant pandering to the cast’s fans, with slow-mo close-up shots of the actors and actresses undressing before heading to the beach. It’s obvious that these scenes were inserted to elicit hollering from the audience, but it’s funny nonetheless how the movie transitioned to these scenes.

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Among the cast, the ones that stood were Janella Salvador and Maris Racal, the former for not overacting, which plagued the majority of the young cast, and the latter for comedic effort. Janella was the only one in the female cast that felt natural. I liked Maris not for her acting but for her character. She was unintentionally funny one in the second half when all hell broke loose. Empoy was inserted in the movie as the typical funny person of the group, but it was apparent from the start that he had no narrative weight and was basically there for puns. Elmo Magalona and Ronnie Alonte were in their typical stoic, mysterious guy roles, while Yves Flores and Diego Loyzaga were the group’s rowdy boys. Of the four, Ronnie and Yves were the least convincing. Yves, in particular, was aggravating in the second half, doing very irrational things under pressure, but it could have been also due to his character’s writing.

The plot was kind of interesting, but derivative and quite predictable as well. Abandoned mansion. Check. Masked killer. Check. Love triangle. Check. The ending twist was half-predictable, half-not. The half part is due to the movie intentionally misleading the audience in the midway mark of the movie. By the time we unmasked the killer, the shock value is absent since the explanation has already been presented.

The actions of the cast were also very questionable during some scenes. Why did Yves act the way he did? What was up with Elmo’s sketchbook of his friends’ deaths? That wasn’t really addressed in the movie. What was up with Janella and the unmasked killer’s charades in the woods? Lastly, how was Ronnie able to have the presence of mind to get his drone and control it when the killer was about to get one of his friends?

The Judgment

However, despite all of these, the movie has a certain something that makes it very watchable. The movie is almost a parody of the masked killer archetype, but not quite. It’s unintentionally funny throughout but never scary. Watch the movie if you want something light.

Rating :

 

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